This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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