just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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