I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
