Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
