I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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