i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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