u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
