She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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