that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
