marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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