OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
organizing the empties. That sober.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
