Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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