It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
