and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
