just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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