508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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