I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
