apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
