I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
