It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
