Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
