So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
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as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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