Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
please don't ironically join a cult
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