I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
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I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just pee around me
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What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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