dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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