I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
