So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
