I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
