I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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