I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
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when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
wow bdsm is so cute
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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