It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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