how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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