Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
