I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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