Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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