real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
