Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
