evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
