direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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