This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just want to make out with him forever
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
