In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
