i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
