oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Randomize
