I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
