I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
too bad you live with your parents still
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
