I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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