This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
