i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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