please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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