I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
