So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
