God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize