Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
