How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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