So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
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I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
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To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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