Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
